Stop eating so much.

Stop eating sugar.

Stop being lazy.

Stop being so shy.

Stop being a pushover.

We all have bad habits we want to stop. And stopping those habits would probably make us better people.

But for some reason, none of us seem to be able to stop… And there’s a reason for that

Bad Habits are a lifeline

Every behaviour you have is there for a reason. It does something for you. It’s served you well enough to keep you alive till now.

Smokers often talk about the relaxation or stress-relieving benefits of having a smoke. Few of our habits are all “bad” or all “good.” They all serve a purpose.

Smokers often talk about the relaxation or stress-relieving benefits of having a smoke. Few of our habits are all “bad” or all “good.” They all serve a purpose.

Let’s take binge eating, for example. What does it do? For many, it fills an emotional need. If you stop doing it on a dime, one of two things will usually happen. Either:

  1. You’ll start back up within the next week or…

  2. You’ll pick up another behaviour as an escape. Usually something self-destructive.

It would be so easy if we could just pick our bad behaviours out and cut them off; If we could cherry-pick our shortcomings and just get rid of them. 

But we can’t.

And furthermore, thinking about your shortcomings a lot actually makes you feel like shit. 

Think about it: Whenever you get down on yourself for bad behaviour, you don’t feel good. And when you don’t feel good, you don’t feel like doing good things (taking care of yourself, eating healthy, doing work, being confident, talking to people, etc…). You just sink into your self-reflective loathing and stay there.

I’ve been there many many times and it’s no fun.

This is why, in coaching, I rarely focus on what someone is doing “wrong.”

We’re all doing shit wrong! That’s a fact of life and it’s never going to change.

Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, I want to talk about what we can do right.

what are you doing right?

I always start off with putting good things in first.

Things like:

Look. You and I both know this isn’t an ideal fat loss meal. But it’s got some protein and that’s a great start! Now how could we make it 1% better next time?

Look. You and I both know this isn’t an ideal fat loss meal. But it’s got some protein and that’s a great start! Now how could we make it 1% better next time?

  • For now, just show up to three training sessions a week and let the rest fall where it does

  • Leave the rest of your nutrition as it is for now, jut make sure you get protein at every meal.

It’s hard to get rid of old behaviours, especially if you don’t have new ones to replace them with. So instead of focusing on getting rid of bad behaviours, I help people focus on simply loading up on good behaviours.

And the cool thing is, as you load up on good behaviours, you start to crowd out those not-so-good behaviours.

  • If you eat a meal full of protein, and fibrous veggies, you’ll feel very full. One day you might decide you’re too full to have desert.

  • If you have an important workout the next morning that you care about, maybe you’ll decide to have just one drink and head home at 11:00 PM instead of having 5 or 6 drinks and getting home at 3:00 AM.

We don’t change overnight. Change takes time and self-awareness.

If you’re patient, though, eventually you’ll find that you’ve completely changed some of your old “bad” behaviours into newer, better behaviours that actually help you be the person you want to be, all without making yourself feel like a pile of human trash.